Empty Nest Syndrome

argh- I finally have some relief, a lot in fact. I am a good mother and I my relationship with Mr 17 year old will be forever.
Some of my fears over the last few days have been tied up with my own relationship with my mother- or lack of a relationship. She is an alcoholic who kicked me out of home when I was 15. We have had a few attempts over the years at closing this rift however it has never happened. I have not seen her for four years. I stepped outside of my comfort zone tonight and texted her, hoping for some open communication about how it would feel to have 3 grown up children but not have a relationship with any of them- she was very defensive and not even prepared to acknowledge this as the truth. It has been a huge sense of closure that these relationships will be taken to the grave with her- there is no healing, no hoping, no mother. There is a new sense of I am not her, I am going to never stop communicating with my son, never stop letting him know he is loved and valued, never stop telling him how proud I am of him, never stop encouraging him. I will never let him go- I do however need to let him shift out :-( I WILL miss him. I miss the baby he was, I miss the little boy he was, I miss the school boy he was, I miss the young teenager he was.....I will miss the amazing young man he is. I will miss Him.